What can you buy with $208? Well, although the options seem kind of endless, let me ensure you that it’s not enough to sustain yourself or just simply pay the damn bills. So imagine what happened when I logged into my checking account and saw my balance… a whopping $208.34… I panicked. How could I let it get this low? How did I mismanage my funds? How was I going to pay the bills? Enter a state of sheer damn panic.
Rewinding a little bit, just over six months ago I was trapped. Not by a stranger, nor hidden in a basement or by threat of weapon but by my work place. Emails from the supervisor streaming in from 10PM straight through 2AM, memos stating that 100+ hours in a week wasn’t enough, and lectures on not involving myself in operations (I’m a marketing professional) but demand me to work in a construction zone and give my opinions on paint colors. Yes, paint colors. One might think it has to do with marketing somehow, but let me assure you, it had nothing to do with my role. I was suffocating, working in a hostile work environment, and couldn’t sleep never mind eat. When I asked to bring my concerns to management I was shut down. Oh, and given an ultimatum – shut up or get out. Two days later I was handing over my keys and wishing them the best of luck. I got in my car and vowed never to return and to this day, I don’t regret that decision for a hot moment.
Finding work in this economy has been hard. I’m a young professional with a very unique skill set. I’ve been blessed to have opportunities most people could only dream about. Sure, I never really made a lot of money but could always pay my bills – even put a little extra down on the overflowing school loans. Grad school, or any school tuition for that matter, will get you. Then, now, and for years to come. Moving along – to date I have had submitted my credentials and submissions for over 90 positions nationwide. I’ve had 23 phone interviews, over a dozen in-person interviews, and rounds and rounds of candidate reviews to always make it to the final round and lose out to one or two other individuals. It leaves me wondering what I am missing. What spark do I not initiate within the hiring managers? Or maybe I’m too much – too much skill, too much education, too much excitement. Whatever it is, I feel clueless and it absolutely blows.
So what is a proud, strong, and almost hit rock bottom supposed to do with countless emails in the sent folder, overflowing bills, and a quite diminished checking account? Cry. And then once she’s done crying she gets back to it. The computer gets turned back on, her resume and cover letters are carefully customized for each job, and the search continues. No, her financial woes don’t improve but there are ways and programs to adjust – and blessed with a network of family and friends who believe in her. A little bit of renewed hope goes a long way. And for this girl, a very lucky break – noticing a banking error had been made. Now corrected, the bills are paid but the struggle continues.
Moral of my story? It can always get worse even when it looks grim. It’s okay to breakdown and cry but when you stop you have to pick yourself back up. You are worth so much more and something will come your way. As for now, shall you ever look into your account and enter a state of panic like I did, take a breather, think it through, and stay calm. There is a light at the end of the tunnel – or well, I sure hope so.
Until Next Time,
Belle
Begin Again 